I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
