you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
