I accidentally burped into my bong.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I forget how to act sober
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
