making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
