i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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