he wants to bone in the snuggie
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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