I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
