Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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