dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
