i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
