Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
