lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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