So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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