Sry I called you an 8
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
