Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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