She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
