Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
