I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
