This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
