when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
