i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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