I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
