so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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