Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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