Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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