wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
