Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
