he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
