I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
