I wish I only lived at night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
