this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
