I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
