Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
