She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
