Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
