the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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