took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
