sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Randomize
