member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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