sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
