The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
