don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
