So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
