I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
