Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
