The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
