are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
