I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
