I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
