i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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