sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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